Kicked in the gut.

I guess the title says it all. Life can change in a split second.
Larry  and I  have raised three beautiful children, and made a good life for ourselves.We have both been healthy for the most part, until now.
Larry developed a rather nasty sinus infection just before Labor Day, 2010. After a couple of rounds of antibiotics, he was better except for a nagging cough. He had a chest x-ray in October, it was clear. Still the cough persisted. We thought it might be sinus related, so in January 2011, Larry had sinus surgery, or as I call it, he had his sinuses Roto-Rootered. Still the cough persisted. In mid February, he started having shortness of breath occasionally and he was having a hard time working because he was so tired all of the time. By this time the cough was not only persisant, it was constant.With one exception, as soon as he laid down in bed at night, the coughing stopped. Completely stopped.
After many frustrating doctor's visits and feeling hopeless, we found out about a Lung Doctor who was supposed to be the best in town. He was the first doctor that I felt was on our side. After the first appointment, even though he only talked to us and did a minimal exam, I felt like we were finally on the right track.
He wanted Larry to come back on Monday, May 16 for a Pulmonary Function Test in his office. The test confirmed that he did not have asthma. So that same afternoon, he ordered a new chest x-ray and VQ scan(this checks for blood flow and air flow in the lungs), We went back to his office on Wednesday and he showed us the x-ray. Larry had a mass on his right lung. Dr. Smith said he needed to see this better and sent us for a CT scan the next day. He also planned on performing a bronchoscopy
after the CT scan, so that he could biopsy the mass.
So on a beautiful Thursday morning, we went in to the the CT scan. I guess we should have known something was not good after the tech told Larry that the dr had already called wanting to know about the scan.
From the scan we went to have the bronchoscopy. They took Larry back and I waited and wandered around until finally I saw Dr. Smith coming toward me. Lets just say he should not play poker. I read the look in his face and knew it was bad.
And it was really bad. Larry had a tumor on his right lung that was pressing on his airway passage. This was not something that could be surgically removed. And then the dr told me that he has a blood clot in his left lung and that he would be admitting Larry to the hospital.
Suddenly, I felt like I was in the worst nightmare and couldn't wake up.
New vocabulary words like chemotherapy, radiation, oncologists, blood thinners, and cancer.
I had known there was something wrong with him, I just didn't really see this coming. No one has a cough for 7 months and shortness of breath for 3 months without something being wrong.
Back in the waiting room, I fell apart. I didn't know what to do and who I should call first.
I called my mom. And after that it kind of blurs.
Our kids knew that Larry was sick and that we were getting tests done, but they had no idea of the bomb I would drop on them. Tears fill my eyes now as I think about the sound of their voices on the phone. Phillip lives in Atlanta with his wife Casey. Courtney lives with us and is school teacher. Chad is at Auburn and had just started a 6 week marine biology class down at Dauphin Island.
Then I had to call Larry's brother, Dan. Larry's family knew he was having some trouble and knew also about the tests we were having done. But I don't think they had any clue about what they were going to hear.
I cried so much that afternoon and evening, I thought I couldn't cry anymore. But I could. And I did.
I just couldn't make sense of any of it. I still can't understand how that beautiful day could have turned so upside down. I went back over the whole day just trying to figure out what in the hell was going on. I just could not wrap my head around it.
Courtney and I stayed with Larry at the hospital. It was a rough night and I don't think any of us got more than a few very short naps. And the night seemed to drag on forever.