Memorial Day 2011

I am very happy to report another great day for Larry. We stayed at home all day and just relaxed.
He is planning on going into work tomorrow morning. So that will be a big change to our new schedule. We have been just sleeping until we wake up with no alarms. We still get up at a decent time, but I think that we both need all of the rest we can get.
Tyler will be with us tomorrow, which will be nice. He keeps us laughing with his antics and he is such a sweet child you could eat him with a spoon!!
Good night to all.

Sunday

Another good day for Larry. He is still resting and eating well.
We mainly stayed around the house today, too hot to do much else.
Larry's mom and niece and great-nephew came over for a visit this afternoon. It was a nice visit, although I was a little embarrassed that they woke us up from naps in front of the t.v. I am sure it bothered me more than it bothered them! Later my sister-in-law Janice came over and brought us a yummy supper!!
Larry drove for the first time today since before he went into the hospital. No other reason for stopping except being lazy, his words not mine. Now that the cough has subsided, he can drive without fear of a coughing fit.
It is still surreal to me, I look at Larry and just can't believe that he is as sick as he is. I guess the reality is slowly sinking in, but he looks better than he has in a long time. Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Good night to all.

Saturday

Today was another good day!!
Larry went to lunch with his brother Grif at PoBoy Factory. A favorite of Larry and his brothers.
His mom and sister came over this afternoon and his mom brought  him cream puffs that she made for him. So Larry had a great food day right until I dragged him to Zaxby's. He hates chicken, says he can taste feathers. Oh well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!!
We came home and watched "The King's Speech", a good movie.
 These good days are so nice, he is eating well and getting lots of rest. This will help him when chemo starts.
Good night to all.

One week later

Last Friday was Larry's birthday and the day we found out he has lung cancer.
Since then, Larry and I have tried to keep our chins up. Not always easy, but it is the only way we will get thru this journey.
Larry had another good day. He had to go and have blood drawn to see if the shots were effective. And they were because we can stop them for now. And that was my one thing to threaten him!!!
We went to his office and several people told him that he looked much better than before he went in the hospital. He also feels better now than before the hospital.He really enjoyed seeing his work buddies.We went to lunch and he ate really well.
His cough has been absent most of the day, but did resurface later in the day. I sure hope it was just a fluke, we haven't missed that cough! He was tired earlier than usual, maybe too much running around? Tomorrow maybe a "take it easy" kind of day.
I guess that is all of the news of the day.
Thanks for sharing our journey with us.

Better Day x3. Fantastic!!!!

The title says it all. Larry had another great day today. He is well rested and eating well. Both things important to get him in good shape before chemo starts. His cough was also minimal, too.
We decided to go with a different doctor at Clearview Cancer Institute. He comes highly recommended and I think it is a good thing.
Everyone is so kind to us. It just makes my heart swell at all of the love we have been shown. And if I haven't told someone how much I appreciate you...I really appreciate every kind word, every gift, every bite of food. We are truly blessed to have such great friends.
I guess I will keep this one short and sweet. I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend.
Good night and sweet dreams!!

A Better Day x2. Hooray!!

Today has been a very good day for Larry. He woke up well rested and has hardly coughed all day.
Not sure why he hasn't coughed, except that he started on Naproxen last night. That is the only change and it has made a world of difference for him.
We went out today and ran some errands and grabbed a bite to eat. It was great to spend time with him and know that he was feeling good. He has felt so rotten for so long, it was good to see him feeling good.
We talked today about the oncologist that we have and decided that he was not the dr for us. I am sure he is a good doctor, but he didn't seem to have Larry's well being as a priority. So we will figure out where to go, probably another doctor at Clearview.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better day x3!
Good night to all.

A better day

Today was almost like normal. Larry and I both slept well last night. I actually had to wake him around 8 for his shot. I hated to wake him because he was sleeping soundly on his back.
He was much more himself today and was able to shower and trim his beard. Sounds so simple, but it is a good sign.
I bought him an electric razor today. Because of the blood thinners, he cannot use a wet razor. He is not that thrilled about it, but it will do the job.
I went into the office for a few minutes today and was able to talk and hold it together.
I am tired tonight so I will stop here.
And tomorrow my title will be "A better day x 2".

Home

Today Larry was released from the hospital. The whole thing really wore him out.
We met with the doctors today. Not much new really, the oncologist said we will start chemo in 2 weeks
and the lung dr. told us that he would see us in about 3 months.
It is nice to be home and I will be happy to sleep in our nice, comfy bed. Larry took a nap when we got home and said the bed felt so good. I think that hospital bed was making both of us miserable.
After we got him settled I ran out to get his prescriptions filled at our usual pharmacy. Everyone knows us and it just broke my heart to tell them about Larry. He is such a  cut-up and they all love him.
I am still really struggling to make sense of all that has happened in the last 5 days. Larry seems to be coping as well as can be expected. He was on the couch and he was cutting up with Courtney and Will(her boyfriend) and it just seemed so normal. But it wasn't.
Today has been hell, I can only hope that we both get some good sleep tonight and tomorrow will be a better day.

Sunday

I missed blogging yesterday, it was just not a good day. Larry was okay, actually perkier than he had been in a long time. But I was a mess. And I just didn't want to think about "it" for a while.
My son Phillip and his wife Casey came home from Atlanta. It was great to have them here. Phillip stayed with Larry last night so that I could home and get some sleep. And a shower.
We have had lots of friends and family to come and see us. Larry really enjoys that and even though talking wears him out, he loves seeing everyone.
We are supposed to go home tomorrow, but Larry has been running a fever and I think that might keep us here until they determine the cause.
Tomorrow, we will meet with the oncologist and get more details on Larry's treatment plan.
He has been up and walking yesterday and today, which is good. He got up late last night to go to the bathroom and got light-headed, luckily he called Phillip and he caught him just as he passed out and got him back in the bed, safely. Larry told me that he thinks he just got up too fast and didn't give himself time to get steady. Luckily, he was not injured at all.
Yesterday, they started bringing Larry a bottle of Ensure with his tray of food. He was not willing to eat the hospital food and I worried that he was not getting any nourishment. So he drinks the Ensure and doesn't even complain about it!
I am sure the staff at the hospital thinks it is strange when they walk in the room and I am laying beside Larry on his bed. It a a great comfort to both of us, and the chairs here are murder on my back.
Everyone has been kind and caring, and we are so grateful.  It is almost five and I have to give Larry his injection of blood thinner.
He has told me that he is interviewing other candidates for his "home nurse" and that I better not take it for granted that he will pick me. I say "Bring It On". He is such a comedian.
That's all for now.

Larry's Birthday Part 2

It is Friday night. Larry and I are here in his hospital room, alone. I sent Courtney home to get some rest.
More new vocabulary words this afternoon. The important one is ADENO CARCINOMA. That is the type of lung cancer that Larry has. The oncologist said it was the "best" lung cancer to have, as it is a slow growing cancer. He said that Larry has had the cancer since his symptoms started, which began in September, 2010. He will begin chemo in about 2 weeks. The plan is that he will be released on Monday and they are hoping to get his breathing and coughing in better shape.
We have had lots of friends and family to visit with us. Larry is well loved wherever he goes, and it really shows now.
My tears seem to be getting a little better, or maybe exhaustion has taken over.
I felt bad earlier when I was having a crying spell, and Larry saw me and then we were both crying. It was a touching and heartbreaking at the same time. I have tried to hide my tears, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.
I know we will get through this, but as I had said before life changes on a dime. We just need to get over the shock and just move forward.
I have to give high praise to the staff at the hospital, they have been so kind and helpful.
I guess I will stop for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.
Good night.

Happy Birthday Larry

So today is May 20, 2011 and it is Larry's 61st Birthday.
It is another beautiful day and our whole world is upside down. And still I cry.
I cry for Larry, I cry for our kids, I cry for his family.
I cry because I just don't know what else to do.
I am sort of a control freak. And I have no control at all.
I don't have any clue what the next hour will bring for us. Or the next day, etc.
Larry askes me questions about what the doctors have told him, and he seems calm and almost accepting.
He loves to flirt and tease the nurses. So he keeps us in smiles and laughter with his wicked sense of humor.
He is not in any pain. And his cough is actually better. His breathing is still labored.
For now, we are in a holding pattern.
It is only 10:25 in the morning and I feel like we have been awake for days.
I will stop for now. Hopefully for my next post, I will have some idea about his treatment plan.

Kicked in the gut.

I guess the title says it all. Life can change in a split second.
Larry  and I  have raised three beautiful children, and made a good life for ourselves.We have both been healthy for the most part, until now.
Larry developed a rather nasty sinus infection just before Labor Day, 2010. After a couple of rounds of antibiotics, he was better except for a nagging cough. He had a chest x-ray in October, it was clear. Still the cough persisted. We thought it might be sinus related, so in January 2011, Larry had sinus surgery, or as I call it, he had his sinuses Roto-Rootered. Still the cough persisted. In mid February, he started having shortness of breath occasionally and he was having a hard time working because he was so tired all of the time. By this time the cough was not only persisant, it was constant.With one exception, as soon as he laid down in bed at night, the coughing stopped. Completely stopped.
After many frustrating doctor's visits and feeling hopeless, we found out about a Lung Doctor who was supposed to be the best in town. He was the first doctor that I felt was on our side. After the first appointment, even though he only talked to us and did a minimal exam, I felt like we were finally on the right track.
He wanted Larry to come back on Monday, May 16 for a Pulmonary Function Test in his office. The test confirmed that he did not have asthma. So that same afternoon, he ordered a new chest x-ray and VQ scan(this checks for blood flow and air flow in the lungs), We went back to his office on Wednesday and he showed us the x-ray. Larry had a mass on his right lung. Dr. Smith said he needed to see this better and sent us for a CT scan the next day. He also planned on performing a bronchoscopy
after the CT scan, so that he could biopsy the mass.
So on a beautiful Thursday morning, we went in to the the CT scan. I guess we should have known something was not good after the tech told Larry that the dr had already called wanting to know about the scan.
From the scan we went to have the bronchoscopy. They took Larry back and I waited and wandered around until finally I saw Dr. Smith coming toward me. Lets just say he should not play poker. I read the look in his face and knew it was bad.
And it was really bad. Larry had a tumor on his right lung that was pressing on his airway passage. This was not something that could be surgically removed. And then the dr told me that he has a blood clot in his left lung and that he would be admitting Larry to the hospital.
Suddenly, I felt like I was in the worst nightmare and couldn't wake up.
New vocabulary words like chemotherapy, radiation, oncologists, blood thinners, and cancer.
I had known there was something wrong with him, I just didn't really see this coming. No one has a cough for 7 months and shortness of breath for 3 months without something being wrong.
Back in the waiting room, I fell apart. I didn't know what to do and who I should call first.
I called my mom. And after that it kind of blurs.
Our kids knew that Larry was sick and that we were getting tests done, but they had no idea of the bomb I would drop on them. Tears fill my eyes now as I think about the sound of their voices on the phone. Phillip lives in Atlanta with his wife Casey. Courtney lives with us and is school teacher. Chad is at Auburn and had just started a 6 week marine biology class down at Dauphin Island.
Then I had to call Larry's brother, Dan. Larry's family knew he was having some trouble and knew also about the tests we were having done. But I don't think they had any clue about what they were going to hear.
I cried so much that afternoon and evening, I thought I couldn't cry anymore. But I could. And I did.
I just couldn't make sense of any of it. I still can't understand how that beautiful day could have turned so upside down. I went back over the whole day just trying to figure out what in the hell was going on. I just could not wrap my head around it.
Courtney and I stayed with Larry at the hospital. It was a rough night and I don't think any of us got more than a few very short naps. And the night seemed to drag on forever.